Friday, September 4, 2009

Flaring Diabetes

I like the internet. It teaches me really cool otherwise hard to comprehend important grown up things. You know what I'm talking which spices best compliment that country fried sausage recipe I've been saving for just the right moment or what type of tunes I can blast on my car stereo that will solidify me as hipster in my neighbors' eyes as I drive past them at 60 miles an hour with the windows rolled down., I know what you're thinking: Yes, I am quite the giver. They know this, too, and appreciate the exposure to these modern tunes - albeit brief as it may be. I am always afforded a wide-eyed expression of surprise or some other token of appreciation like the bird because (and I am guessing here) the implication is that "I'm so fly" - or some other urban gesture of gratitude that I'm not quite so familiar with. Anyhoo, as I was saying...the internet can be very beneficial. Why just last week it cautioned me that perhaps replying to that Nigerian prince who wants to me make his bank trustee is probably not a good idea.

That said, however, it let me down recently and I mean in a BIG way.

I had absolutely no idea that swearing like a sailor is a symptom of diabetes. Did you? Well, it is. Mmm-hmm. Yesterday, my daughter came home from school and informed me that her coach told everyone in the class that he "has diabetes" and that he "occasionally swears" all in the same breath as if to link the two afflictions. Well, I immediately researched this gentleman's condition online and came up with zilch, nada, the big zero. Poor man. It seems unlike many of my family members who actually endure the obligatory challenges that come with diabetes, this man now has also been saddled with uncontrollable onsets of excessive cursing as well and tragically - there is NO attention being given to his sad situation; therefore, I hereby swear in an effort to alert others to this dear soul's plight, I avow to curse more often in public from here on out and blame it on my "flaring diabetes."

- Sweet Thunder


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